Never Aim For Perfection, Always Aim For Excellence

What a week! I started my graduate program on Tuesday and that was a swift kick in the tail! The last few weeks have been difficult while taking this new turn in my life, but this week was like pulling onto a highway in the middle of Atlanta at 5:00 on a Friday. Choice words were said, tears were shed, and the prayers were made in hopes of survival.

Regardless, I am inspired and excited for what is to come. I only hope that I can raise the bar and achieve these things that I want so badly. It is no joke when people say that being out of school makes it harder to go back. I find myself trying to remember how I read through all these articles so quickly, but managed to get the important information out of them? How do I write a paper? How do I remind myself of huge assignments?

Sidebar-just ran out of the amazing coffee my sister brought to the beach...this is a shameless plug to have that be my Christmas present! hint hint...

I think one of the things that I see being the hardest part of all this is how to organize my life. The past two times that I went to school (yeah... two already!). Most of the people around me were also in school. Hence, we had similar schedules, could relate when one of us couldn't be fun for the weekend because we had a paper, and spontaneous bouts of crying/falling asleep at random ten minute intervals in the day was normal.

It's going to take a lot more effort, on my part, to make sure I set some limits on myself, communicate with others about their schedules and mine, and learn the word "no" (the no part was from a 15 minute lecture from my doctor on the importance of that word in going back to school). I know it'll take some time and now that I have an assistantship (praise the Lord!), things may be a little more predictable in the short run. I say this, which means I'll break my leg tomorrow and throw the whole thing off.

And finally- I just need to suck it up and go with it. This is what I want, so I should just be happy about it. AND I found out that 2 girls in my program just had babies (one during her first year of this). If they can do it, I sure as heck better be able to! Dang!

Anyway, now that I have enjoyed my coffee, it's time to get started on the daily chores and my paper. I will leave you with a face that always makes me smile.

Change will do you good....and give you anxiety

Oh man y'all, I tell you--even good stress is still stress. I have been a giant nut lately with all the impending changes that are approaching in a matter of about a week or so and I am responding in two ways:

A: Being a lazy bum:
-haven't run in over a week
-spend hours trying to read all the books I have gotten from the library before I have to read text books
-wanting to stress eat sweets is at a high (see first bullet under point A)

B: Being super crazy energizer bunny with sporadic bouts of uncontrollable tears
-scheduling how to watch supernatural in the fall has taken up more hours than I am proud of and caused too many arguments (not kidding)
-I have made sure to make a shower one of the priorities of the day on more than one occasion (because it just hasn't happened since... hmm)
-should not be allowed to drive as I continually recalculate my new proposed budget in my head and simultaneously ream myself for giving in to starbucks and spending 4 dollars on a chocolate coconut frappacino (by the way-tastes like a mounds bar in a cup- DELICIOUS!) and subsequently forget where I am going

On a positive note, my closet/desk hasn't ever been cleaner, the books I have read have been excellent, and I have tried some new workouts at home.

The problem here is, I just haven't set my schedule yet. I'm confident that it will get better soon (right kids?!). I know this is a silly entry, but thought that I would share- and apologize to my loved ones for my craziness and thank you for setting me straight :). Love y'all--

The beach!

Just returned from A WHOLE WEEK at the beach. It was so wonderful. We visited St. Augustine. It was gorgeous and I'm so thankful for the time I was able to spend with my family, especially my grandmother.

So many memories came back of our family trips to the beach from my childhood. We were so fortunate to have been able to spend two weeks every summer with our family: my grandparents, my mother's two brother's families, and various other relatives. This was ALL thanks to my grandparents. This was a huge part of my life and I attribute these times to the amazing relationships that I have with my extended family--something I realize as I get older, that not everyone else has. Thanks, Nana and Grandpa.

I hope as I start to figure out my life's path that this can be something that I can continue.

There were so many funny moments this week. From Edson dropping the air mattress pump during a minor tiff, "epic fail", "you've just been grey-haired", our almost explosion of a grill (not our fault, but that could have been bad!), and other things that are not appropriate for public consumption (but will probably be retold at the next family get together).

It just brings it all back for me. Sitting on the porch, I would remember how when we were kids we would create these major productions to put on for our parents (I believe that we did a play once that was all about mice and I'm pretty sure we devoted a whole song to names of cheese a la Forrest Gump).

I remember the epic battle for the biggest sharks tooth ever found-- I've never seen Jess run that fast.

Choreographing dances to Billy Joel- Blond over Blue was my fave.

Sneaking peach pie crust in the night while Chris and I caught up over our lives over the past year.

Fighting over who got to babysit Sara that day and watching endless hours of blues clues.

Getting up at 4 AM and digging out chicken livers to go fishing.

There are too many to write now, but I have decided that we really need to write these down. Nana is writing the stories of her children for us and I really think that we should do this for ours. I'm trying to think about how to do it, will get back to you on that.

Hope you all enjoyed our tiny trip down memory lane. So looking forward to trying to get back to the beach asap. Hopefully, I will get picks from mom soon to post.

Peace out kiddos--

A change will do you good...

Hello summertime! Woooohooo! As I sit here with my mother and grandmother having a discussion about where education is going and the reality of education today, I am excited to finally write about the fact that I am going back to school in the fall to try and learn more about it myself. This fall I'll be going back to get my doctorate in educational psychology. I am psyched and I think the ridiculousness of standardized testing and the constant coverage of education cuts has made me even more determined to go advocate for our educators and do research to show what is going on in education today.

Granted, I'm totally terrified but I know that this is the next step for me to be taking. Thanks to all of the support from my family and friends--it was not an easy decision and I am still working on all the specifics, but there is now a feeling of peace and a readiness that has developed as I approach the starting line. I know this has a lot to do with all the encouragement I am receiving-- so HUGE thanks.

I feel that the twenties is a great time of change. People graduating, getting married, changing careers, having babies, becoming a responsible adult- that is a lot to take on in a decade! At times it makes me feel that I don't know crap--and this is probably true. I will say that it is nice to step on to the next phase and have some feeling of solid direction and settling (we'll see how I feel in the fall). It comes with a lot of anxiety, but I'm pumped to say the least.

On a lighter note, would love to share some "good things":

Finished the Race for the Cure in 35.45. Had SUCH a blast with my friends and felt honored to run for Ann and Suzanne and all my other friends who have been touched by this disease. What an empowering feeling to see all the people running for that cause.

Got to see 1 year old Shelby- although for only a few minutes, it is always such a rush of happiness to see her smiling face! I also got to introduce her to my department which was really fun.

Had a great time babysitting the newest addition, Riley, yesterday and hangin out with my cousin, C. I've got some pictures below. I really treasure my family time--we're very blessed. Really looking forward to heading to the beach in a few weeks! Wee!

Life is good... summer is awesome. YAY!

Begin here, begin now

Happy Memorial Day! I have to tell you that I am so excited to have this day off-- it was much needed. Thanks to all the troops out there, including in my own family. Thanks for all you do and all you have done.

Also- little shout out to my mother whose birthday is tomorrow. Greatest mom ever-- thank you, too.

So, this week was the conclusion to my young women book group at church. It was such a great experience. During our last session we ended by talking about what we feel like we have changed and what we still need to work on since being in the group. I think whenever we are confronted with this type of question, I think that our natural response is to point out the one or two things that we have put in to practice well and then a list of things we want to do better. I feel like I need to read the whole book over again (we were reading Heart to Heart-- designed for groups).

In response to this, one of the girls was talking about a sermon from a church in NY where the pastor was talking about how to take control of your life and get you to where you want to be (I'm still trying to find the exact one on the website so that I can read the whole thing. If I do- I'll post it). He gave 10 different bits of advice, saying that we ALL have a list of things that we feel we still need to improve/accomplish. The first two were "begin here" and "begin now"--basically, the short of it being that you can't go back and change anything and we are not usually in a position where there is absolutely nothing that we don't have going for us, but you do have to take that step. Life is going to keep going. It may be a small step, but then you take another.

I related to this a lot in that I feel like I go through these phases where I am ready to revamp how I prioritize my life. Usually this starts with a list and I decide that I will just "start over". I try starting eighty bajillion things all at the same time and then get frustrated when I tap out because I can't get a handle on it all. The reality is that we will never be wholly satisfied for where we are in our lives, nor should we be since we always will have room to grow to be a better person. This does not mean, however, that we haven't accomplished a lot or that improvement is out of reach (no baby and the bath water kind of thing).

So, I'm going to try to be a little more forgiving with myself (for example, I'm really proud of myself for sticking it out in a 9 month book group- yay!)and take it one improvement at a time (creating 1 or 2 more good habits- not 20) and begin right where I am, right now. That being said- I'm off to the pool for a little me time ;)-- happy day ya'll.

Race For the Cure June 12th

Help me run Race for the Cure June 12th!

http://nctriangle.info-komen.org/site/TR/RacefortheCure/DUR_NCTriangleAffiliate?px=7206183&pg=personal&fr_id=1702&refresh=1

We all have someone close to us who has had or been affected by this disease. Let's do our part to help find a cure, even if it is just wishing me good luck-- thanks!

How long til my soul gets it right?

They're still alive! Amazing... I always have such a hard time with plants--mostly because they don't tell me what they need--are you hungry? Do you need more sun? Less? OH! you're still there... forgot--since you make no noise.

Sometimes lately I feel like this is how I treat areas of my life. I feel like there are always so many things that I should be managing. How's my financial portfolio (or lack thereof)? Which people have I not contacted in an absurd amount of time? Have I made all of my yearly doctor's appointments, crap... I haven't worked out in three days. Yet, like my plants, these things aren't screaming for me to update them, contact them, etc. Sometimes I feel like I am scrambling just to keep it all afloat--watering areas of my life when they start to wilt rather than regularly tending to them so that wiltage (yeah, I made that word up) isn't even a possibility.

And props to all you parents out there-- how do you have the energy, much less the memory, to be taking care of all of these things for you AND your kids... although, at least they tell you when they need food.

Anyway, I can't say that I have this particular issue figured out. I'll let you know when I do... in the meantime, I'm going to go water the plants.